"我只想轟轟烈烈愛一场"...I once said to a friend...It came true...I did...... These few days, I've been thinking, thinking...his words came knocking on me...all his words are just telling me, I'm not ready to be a relationship. I don't know what are the dos and donts. My idea of being in a relationship means I can be who I am, nothing to hide about, I can be myself at all ease. I thought it's true but it's not. Sometimes, to be yourself, you hurt the other person unawaringly. I still have not learnt to see things in his perspective and spare a thought for him. Assumptions.
Maybe it's time to let go, do something about myself first before entering into a relationship again. How came I be in one when I'm so problematic, making this relationship more problematic than ever. It just tired everyone out.
Gradually, I can see the past coming to haunt me again...It happened before, I doubt I have the capability to go through this again.....It's me, I'm the one with problems......Fix myself first...
Did some soul searching, are you willing to let go over such issues, No I'm not.
I'm loss....
Goodbye Alice in Wonderland---Jewel
It's four in the afternoon I'm on a flight leaving L.A. Trying to figure out my life and My youth scattered along the highway
Hotel rooms and headlights I've made a living with a song Guitar as my companion Wanting desperately to belong
Fame is filled with spoiled children we grow fat on fantasy I guess that's why I'm leaving I crave reality
So goodbye Alice in Wonderland Goodbye yellow brick road There is a difference between dreaming and pretending I did not find paradise It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting what’s been missing in my life
I'm embarrassed to say the rest is a rock and roll cliché I hit the bottom when I reached the top but I never knew it was you who was breaking my heart I thought you had to love me But you did not
Yes, a heart can hallucinate If it's completely starved for love It can even turn monsters into Angels from above
You forged my love just like a weapon And turned it against me like a knife You broke my last heartstring But you opened up my eyes
So goodbye Alice in Wonderland Goodbye yellow brick road There is a difference between dreaming and pretending That was not love in your eyes It was only a reflection of my lonely mind searching For what’s been missing in my life
And growing up is not an absence of dreaming Its being able to understand the difference between The ones you can hold and the ones that you've been sold But dreaming is a good thing Cause it brings new things to life Pretending is an ending That perpetuates a lie Forgetting what you are Seeing for what you've been told
Truth is stranger than fiction this is my chance to get it right Life is much better without all of those pretty lies
So Goodbye Alice in Wonderland You can keep your yellow brick road Cause there is a difference between dreaming and pretending These are not tears in my eyes They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding I've found what’s missing in my life
