Feel a lot calmer today, I never cry. Learning to hold back my tears. I’m a big girl now. Tearing at the age of 24 is nothing to be proud of.
Looking back at the last few days, what a lunatic I’ve been, I went hysterical. Why did I felt and behaved that way…Regrets for my behaviors now….

Sometimes I just can't remember saying those things to him. Wondering if I have split personality,also term as Dissociative identity disorder (DID), a mental condition whereby a single individual evidences two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. The diagnosis requires that at least two personalities routinely take control of the individual's behavior and that there is associated memory loss that goes beyond normal forgetfulness, often referred to as losing time or acute Dissociative Amnesia.

Derealization refers to experiencing familiar persons and surroundings as if they were unfamiliar and strange or unreal.

Other symptoms may include: Depersonalization, which refers to feeling unreal, removed from one's self, and detached from one's physical and mental processes. The patient feels like an observer of his life and may actually see himself as if he were watching a movie..

Scaring myself, I’m fine.

I’ve been good, been reading the International Accounting Standards (IAS) for the last 2 days. If only I can bind all my books to be pocket size, I’ll be able to read on the train everyday. Amazing how much I can read to and fro work. Reading is one thing, weekend to focus on how to apply. The hardest part is to convince yourself to study on standards which you might never use, such as for Construction industry, Royalties etc. I want to learn, learn more about financial instructments, to do better draft audit reports next year….Surprised how studying and working can come hand in hand at times…..studying is like an outlet for me to seek clarification on technical problems at work.

2 things that brighten up my day

1. He replied my messages ^_^ (like what he always say, to look at the glass half full rather than half empty. Instead of looking at why he doesn’t message me as much before, I should be looking at the end product, that he did messaged, not once, not twice)

2. E told me they are going through the effort to get someone junior, someone really younger than me (seriously, it’s not easy to find, much easier to hire a senior), but because they really appreciate me, don’t want me to feel threaten. T knows how she’s busy etc, came up and asked me how I am, told me about the approval for the new hire and now she’s calling up her referals etc.

I know she doesn’t really like this gal from her tone but I can feel she’s convinced by E to hire. Guess this gal is the most ideal, the past candidates; 1 uttered rubbish at interview, 1 looked like a boy when she’s a girl aka butch I guess, 1 pleasant which they like but found another job plus she’s more senior than me, 1 my friend who they thought was too truthful and ought to brushen up on her interview skills, can’t remember who else, oh ya and this gal. Got me wondering, what were the comments when after they interviewed me.

Thought the followings are common sense question but surprised at the answers received:

Even if you have great plans ahead of you, never to tell the interviewer your want job is nothing relevant to the job you are applying for.

When asked why you want to be in the financial industry, don’t say things like I want to work in a bank eventually, I want to be a trader etc. Just turns the interviewer off!

Don’t criticise systems you’ve used before even though it’s LOUSY. (1 gal mentioned JD Ewards is LOUSY!)

Don’t mention things “My friend told me about it” (Asked her about front office job, she mentioned it’s a sales man job, as told my her frien, does she realised she’s in an interview and not a chit chat session with a friend)

Never provide referal who does not remember who you are. Call them at least to refresh their mind.

For my interview, I was only focused on

“I want to get out of KPMG, I can’t take the working hours, I want to get into the financial industry before applying to banks”, all phrased indirectly.

“I do not have interest for manufacturing insurctry. I want to get into financial industry because I have interest in laerning about financial products,,,blah blah blah….willingness to learn…….”

“I do not want to be moving around, working on different companies, I want to be focus on one company, to do the best to help the company grow….”

Sometimes, other than those technical interviews, it’s all about personality presentation, Smile :>, you get lotsa plus points from that, give them the sweetest smile you have. Make sure it’s genuine though. Be confident, you’ve came so far from resume writing to round after round of interviews…..

Time to ring the bell in the morning, for tutorial time on Geneva..hhahahha....