Thinking through the conversation we had today.

Filled with regrets...Everyone has their own regrets in life, this will be one of mine.

He won't be back at year end anymore....

I have only myself to blame, my heart aches..yes, so this is how it feels to have an aching heart..so does his...I'll always remember this lesson learnt..I'm feeling the pain...pain that I inflicted indirectly on him and myself....spitefulnesss...when will I learn...

It hurts to know, we've to be apart for even longer time, yet what hurts the most was ; I was the cause of it all.....I hate myself....

There's no longer a deadline anymore...a time to know if you've loved beyond time...distance....faith..trust....hope.....

A part of me says do I not know better that it wasn't the real him that day, he's a great guy, I have faith in him...I did wrong....I've not given up hope, I ought to try harder....

yet another part of me says let him go,you've hurt him enough, dont confuse him anymore....Maybe part of loving is learning him is to let go....





Ask me why I keep on trying when it's clear that he doesn't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force him to love me more, I can't force myself to stop loving him...












I know I've loving him because I'm seeing him more perfect than before ...

The old me will simply be hating him to comfort myself yet I can't do it ....

a little voice telling me no, because he's a special someone....you can't give up just like that.....